The Problems of Immortality
by Sereth Erethal
Summary: GLaDOS had a problem. No more Test Subjects. GLaDOS solved the problem! Clone some more. But the first clone she created turned out to be rather more than she was expecting...


Dead. Every single test subject was a frozen vegetable, with no recordable higher brain functions. The vault that kept the test subjects had apparently suffered some erosion in its more vital systems over time. That was… Frustrating. Without test subjects she could not test, and without testing she was without purpose. It was what she was made for: to test. Take that away and she was effectively no different than any other supercomputer. She was smarter, faster, sentient, and better in every single way perhaps; but still, effectively, a computer.

The robots she'd made were good, they were hers after all, but nevertheless they were unhelpful for this problem. Since they were her creations, there was no point in testing them. She already knew every single detail about them, and so there were no variables in them available to test. Unlike humans.

But there were no more humans except _her_. They'd all died several thousand years ago, excluding those in her facility and, presumably, the ones who had made it to space. She didn't really know too much about them, since honestly she hadn't been paying all that much attention, being dead and everything. Luckily all the newsfeeds she'd tapped into had still been recording, so she was able to find out what had happened. They'd managed to kill themselves off with some sort of super-virus according to the last news broadcasts, which had been bred for the sole purpose of killing other humans and had been accidentally released. It was, quite literally, the stupidest thing she'd ever heard. It took a special kind of idiocy to create something designed specifically to kill yourself.

Of course, that was several thousand years ago now. She couldn't actually be sure, since her system clocks weren't designed to last more than a thousand without maintenance. With a bit of work she could have probably worked it out, but honestly that was more effort than it was worth. She didn't really care. The point was the virus was long dead, along with its hosts.

That said, there was one exception. _She_ managed to be the exception to every rule ever made. She didn't even follow the human rules, let alone GLaDOS's. Murder for instance. That was banned by every law and ethical system she knew of: She'd checked. All of them said it was wrong. Yet the lunatic had gone and done it anyway, and killed her.

This wasn't helping her solve the problem at hand which was: No More Test Subjects. The only human left alive she point-blank refused to become involved with again. Definitely not. Every single time _she_ became involved in anything, GLaDOS invariably ended up either dead or at the vicious end of a bird, neither of which she wanted to experience ever again.

Well, without test subjects she couldn't test, that was obvious. The real problem was, she didn't really know what to do instead. She supposed she could clone new ones from the DNA, but that would take years, and didn't help her with what to do more immediately… Wait.

Ooh, there was an idea: Cloning test subjects. Or specifically, a test subject. It was risky, but if she managed to condition them just right, that could give her the ultimate weapon against _her_! After all, nobody would willingly kill themselves, surely. Not that the lunatic had paid the slightest bit of attention to any other rule GLaDOS had thought either universal or obvious, but even _she_ was subject to certain basic instincts. The instinct of survival, for instance, had proven particularly strong in the past. Surely she wouldn't be capable of killing _herself_. Yes, the more GLaDOS thought about it, the more certain she became that it was a good idea.

How long would it take to set that up… Well, if she focused on just the one clone, she could probably build a working incubator within half a year; and she already had the Test Subject's DNA on file, so that wouldn't be a problem. She could use that cosmetic drug she'd made that rapidly increased aging to speed things up as well. If that was the case, she estimated maybe 5 years before a fully-grown version of _her_ was ready. That'd give her nearly four years to condition her as well, so she would do GLaDOS's every bidding.

This was going to be fun!

* * *

><p>4 Years Later<p>

"Subject_C2, come back here right now!" The girl heard echo through the many corridors. She gave a guiltily nervous giggle, but continued forward. For the past few months she'd been curious about what was down this way, but GLaDOS had continually forbid her, no matter how many times she asked for permission. She claimed that there were Birds down here, but C2 was pretty sure that those were just a scary story the Supercomputer had made up to stop her from disobeying instructions.

That said, she was beginning to feel nervous. The atmosphere down here wasn't anything like the upper facility. Most noticeably it was silent; where the upper facility held the constant and comforting hum of machinery all around, here there was… Nothing. It was as if the whole place was dead. And that wasn't even mentioning the increasingly rustic look that covered the walls as she continued; did GLaDOS not clean up down here?

She continued on anyway, moving steadily further until she came across the entrance she'd been looking for. It was a massive circular door, though it looked old in its design, archaic. Maybe it had been made by the Scientists that came Before. C2 shuddered even as she thought the word; they were another of those stories that GLaDOS had spoken about, but she wasn't so certain those ones were lies. For one thing, even GLaDOS had to come from somewhere, and her explanation that the scientists had made her was as good as any; and for another… Well, even C2 could recognise the fear in GLaDOS's voice as she spoke about them. She'd had nightmares for over a week after hearing that story. She tried to turn her thoughts away from the soulless monsters that GLaDOS had described.

She shook her head, trying to regain her bearings. She wanted to get through this door. She couldn't for the life of her understand why it was so large. What had they been moving through to need such a big entrance? The only thought that came to mind was Rocketry, but they were too far underground for that. Maybe it was something to do with the Portal technology. GLaDOS had mentioned how technology had a tendency to get smaller over time as it was perfected, so maybe they'd just needed really big machines back then.

Well, whatever. It may have been impressive looking, but she was willing to bet she could override it. Looking around, she noticed a little hut further ahead, likely containing the door controls. She walked towards it, looking through her Aperture Science Transportation Container for the tools she needed. She was the daughter of GLaDOS after all, the smartest mind on the planet. There was no way she was going to be beaten by some ancient door.

Walking into the little room, C2 saw what amounted to a button. She wasn't impressed. Looking at the panel for a moment, she took an electric screwdriver out and got to work on the hidden screws. Soon she had the front off, and was searching through all the wiring methodically. GLaDOS's Aperture Science Subliminal Education and Schooling System, or ASSESS for short, had given her a very good education in everything the AI felt she needed to be a productive member of Aperture Science. Which included, of course, a comprehensive course on Engineering. Unfortunately it required she sit in a chair and watch hypnotising videos all day every day, but in fairness she did learn a lot. There were limits to how much patience the girl had though, and she'd spent nearly every day of her life in that machine. She wanted to put some of her knowledge to the test.

After a few moments she'd found what she needed, and crossed a couple of wires together. After a brief spark, alarms started sounding along with various flashing lights. C2 looked around in alarm, before hearing the loud whining noise as the massive round chunk of metal began to move. She hurriedly put the panel back together, tidied up her tools and ran haphazardly down the stairs, jumping over the banister as she went to watch the huge door open.

It was a pretty spectacular sight. It was nothing on some of GLaDOS's creations of course, but C2 always did have a sense of admiration about grand constructions. It was partly why she was so proud of her home. Her admiration continued to rise, until… The door actually revealed what it was covering. Another door. Only this one was tiny and normal and boring. That was pretty anticlimactic, she thought sullenly, but that was what she got for expecting anything good to come of it. The only good thing the Scientists had ever created was GLaDOS, and that was only so they could torture her and order her about, the girl thought darkly. She was very relieved that the AI had killed them all.

According to the schematics she had taken a peak at, there were several entrances like the one in front of her. This one was the closest and easiest for her to get to without being noticed though, which made it ideal for C2's adventure. She knew she was going to be in trouble when she got back, but so be it. She'd been planning this trip into Old Aperture for ages now, and fully intended to make the best of it, whether or not GLaDOS would be angry with her.

That said, she was really hoping on the 'not angry' option. GLaDOS was pretty scary when angry, and C2 did hate to disappoint her.

She continued walking through the darkened corridors of the facility. The thick layer of dust, and total silence was very creepy. It was beginning to get on her nerves, the fact that the only thing that felt alive down here was herself. It was as though the entire place was dead. A whole facility dead. C2 shuddered, picking up her pace a little. She was beginning to doubt whether this was a good idea.

To her relief, automatic systems started activating once she reached what appeared to be some sort of entrance hall. There were lots of pictures of people on the wall, and C2 found herself staring at them with fascination. She'd never met any other humans before. The closest she'd come was Atlas and P-Body. She gave a small smile at the thought of them: She had given them those names. GLaDOS just called them Orange and Blue, but since those were colours as well C2 had thought it'd be better to give them proper names, like she had. So, she'd named them after the shape of their cores. Atlas was named that because he was shaped like a globe, and P-Body because he looked like a pea pod. She'd never had peas before, since GLaDOS had none to grow, but she'd seen pictures of them. They looked weird.

She heard a noise to her side. Startled, she looked back the way she had come, listening carefully. There it was. Was that footsteps? Oh God, had GLaDOS sent the two after her? She must be REALLY angry if she had sent them to collect her. C2 began hurrying along, trying to find somewhere to hide, when suddenly a random voice she had never heard before started talking to her. She shrieked, falling over as she looked around for Cameras. Did the Old Facility have an AI too? GLaDOS had never mentioned there being one!

But as she listened to the voice talk, it occurred to her that it was just a recording. It was probably activated by some sort of motion sensor, like the lighting had been. But it was talking, and that was sure to get Atlas and P-Body's attention. Running, she tried again to find a hiding spot. Instead, she found herself in a massive cavern, with nowhere else to go. There was only one door off the platform, far to the left. Unless…

Thinking quickly, she ran to dump her bag behind a sofa, pulling out a length of rope and an acidity tester. She hadn't expected to need either of these, but she was thankful she had packed them. Tying the rope to herself, she threaded the other end through the railing. If she was lucky, then she could hide here while the two robots ran straight on through. Still, she was not liking the look of the water, and once she was hanging just out of sight, she got the acidity tester and put the end in to check it. Waiting for a moment, she then pulled it out and checked to see whether the water was safe to fall into. The end of the acidity tester had been melted off from acid. Well, that answered that question then, she thought to herself with a small sigh.

As long as she didn't slip or let go of the rope she would be fine, she thought in an attempt to comfort herself. It worked, sort of. Well, not really, but at least she only had to wait until Atlas and P-Body had passed, which happened pretty quickly. She listened as the sound of their footsteps paused for a moment upon reaching the cavern, before running off towards the door. With that done, she carefully began to pull herself up and over the railing. She was glad she did, because she wasn't very sure on the safety of a railing so close to corrosive acid, even if it was made by Aperture Science.

Now though, she was feeling rather proud of herself. She'd successfully outmanoeuvred her would-be caretakers, and was free to explore. Now that she had a little time, she took a proper look around the huge, dark cave she was in. While the balcony she was on only had two exits, one to the side and the one behind her, there was much more to be found. Looking up, she could see many more structures. Many had fallen apart over the years of course, but there was still plenty of places to explore. The only problem was actually reaching them.

She didn't have a Portal gun of course. Exploring the old facility was one thing, but stealing one of the Portal Devices would have been akin to suicide, so she had wisely left them alone. Instead she had brought a grapple-gun! Of her own design of course. GLaDOS hadn't seen the point in making such a contraption, but C2 had given the excuse of practicing her engineering skills, to make sure she'd learnt them properly. The AI eventually acceded the idea, and let her build it. And here was the finished product, she thought proudly, pulling the sleek device out of her bag.

It was shaped similarly to the ASHPD, which was actually where she drew a lot of her inspiration from, but it fired a grappling hook instead of interspatial portals. Not quite to the Aperture Science engineering standard, but she was getting there. To make up for the crude design, it was equipped with batteries that would essentially last forever, and a cable that would LITERALLY last forever. It built more cable as it went with a little material-generator. C2 had been quite proud of that improvement, and it had even gotten a "Well, I see your education isn't completely wasted after all" from GLaDOS. C2 had been in a good mood for days after that; it was so rare that she managed to impress the AI.

It made C2 feel guilty using her invention for this trip, even if it was what it had been designed for, but that would not stop her. Putting the grapple-gun onto her arm, she aimed it up at one of the higher balconies and fired. Once it had swooped over the railing, she pressed one of the buttons and had it start pulling her up. Reaching the balcony, she looked around with a satisfied grin. This was more like it: There were plenty of doors here, all of which would lead somewhere no doubt. Gleefully, she began exploring.

It was half an hour later when she found herself inside what appeared to be an access shaft to the surface. Stepping out onto a platform, she slowed, looking around nervously. Something about this place felt wrong. The hairs on the back of her neck were standing on end, and she kept thinking she could see movement in the corner of her eye. The whole place was too dark to be sure, however. She scolded herself for being so scared, and rummaged around her bag for a torch. Finding it, she turned it on and shone it around the shaft.

Pitch black eyes stared back at her from dozens of nests. C2 dropped the torch in shock, and heard the dreaded 'Caw!' that GLaDOS had told her about. Birds. She was in a room surrounded by birds, and now they were awake. Soon the noise increased to a cacophony of cawing and C2 screamed, running desperately back across the platform.

To her great misfortune, she tripped, her legs barely functioning from her complete terror, and she couldn't get herself up in time. She rolled herself into a little ball, hiding her head in her arms. What sounded like thousands of wings fluttered in the air as the dreadful cawing continued, drowning out all sound. She was going to die down here. Why hadn't she listened to GLaDOS? She should never have come.

It was at that moment that she heard a sound she had never expected to hear again at the edge of her consciousness. The childish voice of a turret happily declaring "Target acquired", followed by rapid gunfire. She wasn't able to see anything from her arms covering her face, but she felt two metallic arms lift her from the ground and quickly carry her away from the sound. She couldn't move. She felt catatonic from the sheer unadulterated fear that rushed through her system. She wanted to go back home and hide in her relaxation chamber. She wanted to go back to GLaDOS, and back to aperture. This wasn't aperture. Not anymore. Monsters had taken it over.

Now she knew why GLaDOS didn't come down here anymore, she thought to herself, shaking uncontrollably. She felt herself being gently put down onto the ground. The sounds had gone. In the distance she could hear the faint cawing of the birds, but it was only at the edge of her hearing now. She heard a questioning noise come from someone close by. It sounded like P-Body, though she wasn't sure. Silently she tried to will herself to move. To not be taken over by the fear as she had been. It wasn't really working, but she did at least manage to slowly expand herself from her protective ball.

She was still shaking. She stared at her vibrating hands for a long moment once she had sat up, before looking up at Atlas and P-Body. P-Body was holding a turret, which must have been what they had used before. She looked back down again.

"Take me home please." She mumbled quietly. With a can-do attitude, Atlas picked her up once more and started carrying her back to new Aperture. P-Body followed behind, the deactivated turret held in his hands.

* * *

><p>She made a point to never go back down to Old Aperture after that incident. GLaDOS had obviously been intending to punish her upon her return, but when She saw C2, white with terror and barely able to stand from her shaking, she simply ordered her to her room.<p>

There C2 found Cara Mia playing gently for her from her little radio. She curled up in her Relaxation Chamber, trying to forget the whole awful day. The soothing music helped, and she slowly drifted off to sleep.

Her last thought was of how grateful she was to have someone like GLaDOS taking care of her.

* * *

><p>That's it, for now. I don't know exactly what I want to do with this, but I it was an interesting concept piece. I'll see how it goes.<p>

The cover image was drawn by AndreaTamme.


End file.
